The movie actually reminded me of how I used to be. I'm not saying that I drastically changed my apearance and I look so pretty and hot, which I am not, I'm just saying like how I would wanna change myself for a guy I liked for a good 2 long years. I admit I did a lot of naive mistakes when I was in high school but yea, I believe I ended up pretty good right now. The mistakes didn't ruin my life I suppose but at that point it was like end of the world to me.
So yea, I used to like this guy in my high school. He's, at least to me at that time, super handsome, cute, mysterious, tall, smart, and funny. And he was popular in school too. Yeah, he's like the ultimate dream guy for me back then. hahaha! So I got to know this guy when I was around form 2. And as you guys know, I was a super nerd. I was dark, nerdy, slouchy, with the worst haircut, no boobs nor bootie (until now also. sad..) nyeh, I wasn't exactly the popular type of girl, I'm like the type you would typically see sitting at a corner and being ignored (either that or being treated like a guy).
(First from the left)
This is a picture to show you how unattractive I was. LOL! Fun shot. HAHA
see the resemblence? HAHAHAHA.
We actually started talking in msn. So everytime I would wait for him to message me, then I'll get super duper excited and happy, if he didn't I would always wonder why he didnt, was he busy, etc.
In the movie, the girl asked permission to go to the toilet and she actually took a longer route to the toilet by passing by the guy's class. Which, that was what I used to do. His class was actually upstairs of mine. I always try to find excuses to pass by his class so I could get a glance of him. HAHAHA. Yeahhh. I actually did that. Sounds very desperate right. But I'm just your average teenage girl. hahaha. And another year which I think is during form2, his class was actually right opposite mine I think, in another block, so I would always try to look out the window to see him. And right after recess or before school starts I think we would all gather outside of our classes, I would always look right opposite and aim for him. haha. then wave. ;) hahahha!
Come to think of it, I actually learned Photoshop and gotten into all these designing things because of him. He was in the editorial board so I was quite hoping I could get in so I get to see him. HAHA. yeah. pfft. So I tried to pick up some skills and I managed to join the team. Yeehaww. Then on I get to see him a bit more than usual. Another thing I would really look forward to school is because I would get to talk to him or say hi to him before school starts. Me and my friends would gather at a spot everyday and he would come over, or, somehow just pass by that spot. I'm like so tactical right. LMAO.
The thing of all these is that I didn't know how he felt for me. Cause we never actually confessed. I was really confused, I didn't know whether he had feelings for me or not, I somehow kept myself thinking that its impossible, I'm so ugly and he's like one of the most popular guy in school and there are so many pretty girls in school that likes him. I don't even stand a chance. I started to wear contact lens, and like do other diff things to my appearance just so I would look better. I try to work harder so I won't be look down on. But yea. I don't regret anything cause all that made who I am today. And the guy most prolly didn't know all the silly and childish things I've done hahahha! After form3 I had to move to Penang. So that's when I don't get to see him forever. just kidding. But I really don't get to see him anymore so the only way is just to forget him, which was really really hard. I guess firsts are always hardest to forget. It's like you see that person every single day in school and now you don't get to anymore. Bummer. But when you get over your first crush, things are somehow, easier, like for me, confessing to someone or talking to the person I like seems a little easier than how it was.
So yeah, It was fun reminiscing about my high school life. XD!
God bless! Good night!
You aren't ugly - you're beating yourself unnecessarily. About the boobs...yours is ok, trust me on that. And he noticed. He thought well of you. But I don't think it was mutual. Not that it matters anymore at this stage. :) But you know...for closure sakes.
ReplyDeleteCheers.